Assalamualaikum my dear,

How are you? How have these past two weeks been for you? Its nearly been a month since Ramadan has passed us, do you feel like you are slowly getting out of that slump?

Ramadan slump is so real and honestly, I’m just glad I can slowly feel myself getting out of it! And I feel like one of the reasons was because of what happened last Friday.

Last Friday

Last Friday, as I entered our local masjid for jummah, I could sense something was different that day. We were asked to all stay on the bottom floor to keep the first floor free. And throughout the speech from the Imam, I could hear women whispering to each other, scurrying up and down the different floors. At one point, the barriers that separated us from the men were being shuffled around and just as we began to wonder what on earth was happening, the imam announced - there is to be a janazah after the jummah salaah, so to please stay behind.

Inna lilahi wa inna ilayhi rajiun.

Soon after, we saw a group of women all young and old pass us by to the area covered by the barriers. I wonder whats happeni…Before I can even finish my thought, a loud shrilling sob pierces through the room, followed by another and another and another.

They’re here to see the body of the deceased, it hits me.

They’re here to see their father, their grandfather, their husband, their son.

The sobbing continues but the room around me fades away - I’m now in my grandparents home, those sobs coming from myself as I stand by a hospital bed. Images of cold lifeless skin against my hand as I help wash my grandmother as gently as I can. Images of standing by her bed, her wrapped in all white, seeing visitor after visitor arrive. Images of her body infront of us as we stand row by row, the room packed till the brim, my shoulder pressed against my sisters as she raises her hand to lead the janazah.

I remember so vividly reciting the dua for the deceased in my prayer -

‘…grant her a family better than hers, a home better than hers and enter her into Paradise and protect her from the punishment of the grave… ’

The imam begins the announcements, I’m pulled back into the room.

Before I know it, the kuthbah is over and we are giving the final salaam for the jummah salaah.

We all stand up again.

It’s time for the janazah of this old man.

I stand up and just like for my grandmother, I make dua for this man - I have no idea who he is, how old he was, what type of father, son, husband, leader he was.

But I pray for him as earnestly as I can, for his ease and intercession in his new journey to his final home.

—

As I walked out of the masjid that day, I couldn’t help but wonder about this man who had just passed away.

I look across the car park to see not even a single parking available. The mosque is full to the brim today, as it is every jummah.

I think back to my own day. I woke up feeling tired and nauseous, pretty sure that I wasn’t going to make it for jummah that day. But as the afternoon grew closer, I decided I’d push myself to go.

I see the funeral car getting ready to leave the compound and I can’t help but wonder -

What type of life did this man lead that Allah allowed his janazah to be held on a Friday, the holiest day for us Muslims, after jummah - a time where the masajids are filled to the brim.

And on top of that, I wonder how many other people Allah brought to the mosque like me to stand for the janazah of this man.

We know that one of the signs of a good ending is the death occuring on the Friday, the holiest day of the week.

We also know another of the signs of a good ending is for the janazah of the deceased to be attended by a large number of people.

This person was blessed with both. And I’m sure there are many more good signs that I am just unaware of.

It made me really think - what type of life did you have to lead for you to be given such a beautiful beloved ending?

—

The way you die is determined by the way you live

The thing is, you can live your whole life serving the community but die on the opposite side of the world where not a single Muslim resides to give you a proper janazah.

On the other hand, you can be someone who knows very few in your community but Allah will gift you that beautiful janazah in His Way.

The only thing that determines the type of death we have is our true sincere relationship with Allah - in the most quiet and loneliest of moments.

It makes me wonder - what would my janazah look like? Was I living the type of life that would bless me with a room full of believers making dua for me?

Every morning I wake up with so much purpose about how I want to shape my life here - work, exercise, relationships, experiences.

But how often do I ever think of planning for my most important day?

—

Is death morbid

For me, this incident on Friday felt like a culmination of all the different reminders Allah was showing me throughout Ramadan.

One of the main series I kept up to date with this Ramadan was The Barzakh Series by Sh Omar Suleiman. Honestly, being reminded of the reality of death and the story after it in so much detail helped me just think about death a bit more.

No one really likes talking about death. It’s just a thing people prefer to not really think about.

Even as Muslims, although we are well aware that the Hereafter is our true destination, we still don’t dwell on it too much

Whenever I used to hear the hadith of the Prophet (s) where he tells us to think about death often, I used to always see it from a fear standpoint - from a perspective of the punishments of the grave to Jahannam, etc.

But I feel like this Ramadan was the first time that really made me see death through a more pragmatic and beautiful lens.

A lens of truly seeing how this life is really just a pit stop to our real homes in the Hereafter.

—

Jazakallah khair for reading till here sis!

Until next time,
Thasneema 🌻