Assalamualaikum my dear,

Last week I wrote to you about how my last 6 weeks have been on this phone detox. Honestly, I really enjoyed writing out my thoughts to you, and I really hope you enjoyed reading it too!

The reason I wanted to do a part 2 to it was to share with you a few of my favourite parts of the detox with you. I didn’t want to drag last weeks letter too long, so here we are.

(If you haven’t already, I highly recommend checking out Part 1 to todays letter here 😄)

—

Eid Night And The Days After

It’s Eid night. I am sat at the edge of my bed, a few hours after Iftar, staring at my App Store screen. My finger is hovering over the Install button for all the ‘Recently deleted’ apps. But for some reason, I can’t bring myself to click ‘download’.

I couldn’t believe how much things had changed. Just a few weeks ago, I was sat at the corner of another bed, my hand hovered over the same download button. But instead, it was me battling my finger not to click ‘download’. There was apart of me just itching to download anything…anything that I could mindlessly scroll. I sat there reminding myself then that it’s only a month. I could do it. 

And now here I am. It was hard to understand how things could change so quickly.

I’ll download it tomorrow after Eid, I thought to myself and switched my phone off, heading downstairs to where the rest of my family sat chatting.

Tomorrow came. The weather was dull but our hearts were light, filled with laughter, food and games. My phone lay completely forgotten. Then the day after, and then the day after that, they all followed one by one. But every time I had a quiet moment to myself, I’d look at my App Store and push it off for one more day.

10 days had passed since Ramadan. And that was when I sat with myself and thought, why am I pushing this off?

Why did I carry it on

There were 3 main reasons why I kept pushing off the end of my phone detox in the initial days after Ramadan.

1. More time in my days

Trying to find more time in my life has always been a constant struggle. I’ve researched about it, written to you all about it, and prayed for it… a lot.

There’s just too many things I always want to do. But at the same time, I wanted a slow unrushed lifestyle. A bit of an impossible ask there!

It was during Ramadan that I realised I actually did have enough time in my day. I mentioned this in my previous letter where it was because of these free pockets of time that I was able to pick up long-forgotten hobbies and habits.

But apart from that, I also realised that time wasn’t the only thing I was missing. It was the ability to focus too.

I got so much more time in my day because I took less time to do things, simply because I was more present and focused with each task.

We tend to need more time to do anything when our minds are unable to focus. The thing is, our brains do not like to focus on anything that feels even a little bit hard. It is exactly why we pick up our phones in the middle of an email or essay you are struggling to write.

But these breaks are detrimental for our focus.

There is a reason why using your phones even in standstill traffic is discouraged. It’s because it takes too long for our focus to get back onto the road when the traffic moves, putting ourselves in danger. Trying to refocus on that email or essay after your phone break is another mammoth task in itself, leading you to take many more hours on that task, than without your phone.

This concept is discussed in Cal Newport’s book ‘Deep Work’, a book I’m hoping to pick up soon. If you’re interested in reading this together, let me know! 😊 

But why limit phone use in your whole day? Why not just during work hours?

2. Because I found Salaah easier

This was really unexpected for me. I remember finishing a salaah in shock how it was so much easier to focus than usual. Obviously, I have a long way to go with it (like really long way lol). But I feel the difference, and I don’t want to go back.

It reminded me of Jay Shetty’s quote from his book ‘Think Like A Monk '-

This quote talks about the danger of constantly distracting ourselves.

We are so used to multi-tasking and trying to be more productive. We can't just wash the dishes or just go on our commute without putting in our headphones or planning our to-do at the same time. It almost seems like a waste of time not to.

But then we step onto our prayer mat and expect our brains to be able to suddenly be completely present, in a state of complete khushu.

That is not possible.

Because after a day of multi-tasking, whizzing around and thinking of a million things, our brain is being taught to be in multiple places at the same time. Our brains are in the habit of not being present.

This whole month, I was forced to wash dishes without a podcast and go on walks and just listen to nature. I think, as a result, my brain was slowly unlearning its habit of being constantly distracted. It was getting used to being present.

Which meant, when it came to raising my hands in prayer, it took so much less effort to reach a place of khushu.

Alhamdulillah.

And lastly…

3. I found myself happier

This is really cliche. I know. And I know, happiness isn’t the goal. But I think this point is a result of the above two points. 

Having more time in my day allowed me to rediscover hobbies like art and long walks. It allowed me to do more but live a slower lifestyle - the impossible thing I was constantly searching for. It forced me to stop distracting myself and to find joy in my work and all the other daily activities in my day.

And as a result, I became happier.

Would you like to join me?

I have to give a disclaimer here to say that I’m not saying phones themselves are bad for you. And that you need to chuck them away. 

No, phones are just a tool. Social media and all the other apps are just tools. It’s up to us to decide how we want to use it.

Which is why I know today’s reflection may not resonate with everyone. Maybe you are really good at using your phone, and maybe this isn’t for you.

But. But, if you are someone who is constantly wondering why you don’t have enough time in your day, or why you’re not able to focus on your salaah or overall you feel a bit stressed about life, I can’t encourage you enough to try this sort of detox out. 

Just try it out and see for yourself.

Going forward

For myself, I have decided to carry on this detox and make it my lifestyle.

I plan to be a bit less strict than before. So, I will be taking my phone me with work now!

But, I plan to keep all the social media apps, except WhatsApp, deleted from my phone. These include apps from Instagram to YouTube to Gmail. I find that this forces me to only use my phone for its true use - to keep in contact with friends and family. And it forces me to be intentional with my use of any other apps like YouTube, because I’m forced to open up my laptop for them.

And with that, this mini series on my phone detox experience comes to an end! I pray you found it beneficial. I really enjoyed having to reflect and dissect this journey for you.

Thank you for reading till the end!

If you follow me on Instagram, you would’ve seen that Im taking a step back from that world. I don’t know when ill be back there, but this corner will be my space to share my reflections to you.

One of the things I loved the most about instagram was the community I formed. I would love to form something like that here too, so I want you to know my inbox is always open. I’d love to hear for you too. 🤍

From your sis,

Thasneema 🌻