Amor Fati Like Yusuf (as)

I used to see people who would love complaining about their job and think — that would never be me. It never made sense to me to stay voluntarily in a job that you obviously didn’t enjoy. Complaining without taking any action for change was something I couldn’t understand. And if you didn’t have a choice but to stay, then be at peace that God had written it for you, which means it can only be the best for you.

But today it hit me that I may have become a bit like that.

Rewind to my workday.

I was working from home. I hadn’t been booked for a client job today which meant I was helping out others, just filling in bits and pieces that needed completing. The day looked like it was going to pretty boring. But over the course of the afternoon, it got too much. Don’t get me wrong, it was still boring. But just so tedious. I found myself working through piles of documents that had already been worked through before, simply to add in bits of information that should have been sorted out first time round. I basically spent a whole day sorting out someone else’s mess. I felt so unaccomplished by the end of the day but exhausted at the same time.

My sister was sitting opposite me, feeding her newborn (yes, I’m an aunt!). I look up at her and say ‘guess what I spent all day doing?’

And then I complain.

At one point, I realise I still have work to do and so turn back to my laptop. But as I’m about to begin slogging through these documents again, I hear myself mumble under my breath — I hate days like this.

I pause. My eyes widen a bit.

Did I really just say that? I felt embarrassed.

Had I just become that person I so vehemently believed I would never be?

How did a sentence like this slip so easily from my mouth? I think back to my past week and I know straight away how — it’s because I’ve been complaining about it all week.

I am unimpressed with myself. I believed I would amor fati through life.

Amor fati

Love of Fate. I picked this up from Nathaniel Drew. I find it a really powerful way to view life and one that absolutely lines up with the way a Muslim should be seeing life. His explanation about this quote made me immediately remember one of my favorite hadith

Amor fati is about loving life just the way it is. Not just chasing the highs or constantly looking for ways to get rid of the lows. But being content with every moment. As a Muslim, I translate this to being in love with Qadr. And I think this comes when there is an absolute trust in the Plan of Allah. Because if The Most Wise and The Most Knowing is in control of my life, doesn’t that mean every moment is as perfect as can be?

But although I believed myself to be a type of person with this outlook, sometimes its easy to forget. Because ‘amor fati-ing’ life when things are going your way is easy, but isn't the real challenge when its not?

Amor fati like Yusuf (as)

When things aren’t going my way I think of Yusuf (as), and today I think of him again. Usually I reflect on his story because it serves as the perfect reminder that although things aren’t going your way now, trust that they will take a better turn tomorrow. A village boy who went through attempted murder, slavery and prison all in one life, to eventually become a minister of one of the most powerful cities then. The thing is, for Yusuf to become the minister of Egypt, he had to be falsely accused and put into prison.

Sometimes we don’t see that the moments of hardship we are going through today is just preparing us for a greater tomorrow.

That's why one of my favourite names of Allah is Al-Lateef (The Subtle). When I think back, I can think of plenty incidents in my own life where things in the moment looked like they were negative. But in retrospect it’s clear as daylight to me that I wouldn’t change a single thing. Every one of us have had situations like this in life.

But today I reflect on Yusuf (as) for a different reason. I think about how he survived his years in the prison. Imagine being falsely accused and thrown into prison with absolutely no way out. That's a pretty crappy situation to be in. Plenty of reason to sulk and vent his heart out all day.

But he didn’t. Even when two people came up to him to ask for help.

He could’ve easily used this opportunity to just complain about his life for a bit before helping them out. It seems pretty reasonable. But instead he didn’t say a single thing about his own situation. You know what he did instead? He gave them dawah.

What a legend.

He continued doing his part as a believer and let Allah take care of his matters.

It’s a light bulb moment because I remember Sh Akram Nadwi’s quote from the book If The Oceans Were Ink . It’s a long one, but trust me it’s worth it —

The circle and the line

What we can control

Yes we can’t lie waiting for change to happen in our lives by Allah without physically trying to change things up. But I think the most powerful way to create a change in our life is to simply ‘tend to the cycle’. To become the best version of a believer you can — be a better worshipper in your worship with Him and in your service to the people around you, just like Yusuf. And then see the prison walls fall to reveal the palace around.

—

If you reached till the end of this reflection, thank you my friend. I appreciate it!

I hope we get to meet each other in my next post too. Until then, if you have any thoughts about what you’ve just read let me know (in the comments or any other way). I’d love to start a conversation!

And if you’d like to have my reflections reach you directly, consider subscribing with your email below.

Until next time,

Thasneema 🌻