Assalamualaikum my dear,
How are you? How has this last month of 2024 been going?

The month of December for me is a special time. 2 years ago, the first two weeks of December was marked by frantic last minute shopping trips to jewellery stores, flower shops and wedding halls. Internally, I was a bigger mess - a bag of nerves and excitement. It wasn’t butterflies in my tummy, it was elephants! But when 18th December dawned on us, and when we finally walked out of that hall, side by side as husband and wife, I felt a calm settle upon me. An anchoring calm that I had not felt before.

I tend to be a pretty private person when it comes to my marriage because…the internet is a scary place! Evil eye is real and I’m too scared of it lol. (#saymashaAllah)

But it was our 2 year wedding anniversary last week, subhanallah. And this year, after months of intending, I finally sat down and made a scrapbook for our two years. I took a trip down memory lane rifling through old journals, pictures and messages of both pre marriage and post. And honestly by the end of it, I was overwhelmed with gratitude. Because I saw how kind has Allah been to me, to us for these 2 years and beyond.

Because as I sat and read through those old journals, I saw 21 year old me, 23 year old me, struggling. Struggling deeply to find someone. So many nights of whispered duas, of tears, of fears of loneliness. Meeting after meeting, I’d recorded how it felt like it really was impossible to find someone. Someone who would bring me closer to my Lord than away from Him.

Someone whose priority was Allah. Someone who was willing to take risks for a life where Allah is priority.

I was told I was being picky, I was told my reasons for saying no ‘wasn’t good enough’. But to me, I couldn’t compromise on those few things. I didn't want to.

And although it really scared me, I knew I preferred to stay alone rather than with someone who wouldn’t fulfil that.

Those few years were tough. And so the dua I clung to the most during those times was the one that Allah Himself gave to us in the Quran.

I truly believe it was that dua that blessed us with what we thought was impossible.

I wanted to share that dua with you and my more recent reflections on it. Because honestly, it is a beautiful dua.

(PS. please forgive my ramblings, I tried my best to keep it short!)

The Quranic Dua for Marriage.

This dua comes in Surah Furqan, as part of one of my favourite passages. This passage is found in the final page of the surah where Allah talks about a group of people He calls the ‘Ibadur Rahman’ – the ‘servants of the Merciful’.

Did you know, one of the most beloved names to Allah is ‘Abdarrahman’? So imagine then how beloved someone with one of these 9 characteristics are to Him, subhanallah.

He mentions 9 characteristics of them, but today I want to write to you about the final one.

The final characteristic

The final characteristic of the ‘servant of the Merciful’ is someone who makes this specific dua.

Isn’t it such a beautiful dua? I love how Allah gave us a dua about marriage in the Quran, from Himself, subhanallah!

Although this used to be one of my most read dua while I searched for marriage, a question I always had was – why was this group of people would be classed under the ‘ibadur rahman’?

What made this dua, a dua for marriage, so special and loving to Allah?

And as I reflected on it, it made me wonder maybe one of the reasons could be because of the way this dua ends.

What this dua asks for

When you look closely at this dua, you can see it actually asks for two things -

1. Our spouses and offspring to be a comfort to us

2. To make us leaders to the muttaqin (God-fearing)

What this dua is showing us is – the servants of the Merciful are special and loved to Allah because even when they are asking Allah for wordly desires, for things that will give them joy here, they never forget who they truly belong and will return to.

They never forget their bigger purpose – the hereafter.

And so even when asking for something like marriage and family, they ask for that to be something that brings them closer to Him.

Subhanallah.

The dua that gave me strength

Now reflecting back to two years ago, it feels like almost a git from Allah that He allowed me to find this dua.

I didn’t understand the extent of the power of the dua then, but it’s what kept me firm yet hopeful during that time. Firm about what I wanted in a spouse, refusing to budge for someone less practising even if it meant having to search for longer. And hopeful in the response of My Lord.

A Lord who is Al Mujeeb - The Answering One who hears this dua I whisper to Him again and again and again, and that He will answer.

A Lord who is Al Wadud - The Most Loving who loves me and wants love for me.

But a Lord who also is Al Aleem - The Most Knowing who knows if marriage is best for me (because hey, maybe it’s not and that’s ok!) and if it is, who knows the best moment for it to happen.

So sis,

If you’re currently looking to get married, trying to find a spouse that will remind you of Allah, that will bring you closer to Him, then I hope this dua gives you the same comfort and strength it gave me.

It’s a tough time and place to be, emotionally and mentally. You may feel alone even though you’re surrounded by people, The road ahead may feel lonely, but I pray Allah blankets you in His mercy and comfort.

—

🥺 A part of me really wondered whether to share this part of my story with you or not. It’s a pretty vulnerable side.

But this is for any girl out there who might be wondering whether it’s time to compromise her requirement for someone who is practising, someone who will bring her closer to her Lord for the sake of finding someone. This ones for you - Know that your Lord sees the struggle you make for Him. Never forget that. And so continue to tie your camel, and continue to trust in Him. He will show you the way. 

And if you have found your other half, I hope this dua still brings comfort to you. It’s a dua I still use often because who doesn’t want their marriage to continue and increase in beauty here and in the hereafter, inshaAllah 🤍

PS. If you know a sis who’d benefit from this letter, do share it forward. Or pass on this link so they can join our community too 🤍

Until next time,
Thasneema 🌻